Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What I have noticed

About seattle I could not figure out why I could not find a girl to date. I was going about it all You see I have noticed that seattle women only date guys who dont have jobs, do not have cars and live with thier parents, and absolutly dont keep in my news year resolution is to Get fired, wreck my car, find someones parents to move in with and eat McDonalds 3 times a (Ok I am only joking but this is kinda sad but funny about seattle, but i love it)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Through All adversity

They said I would fail, that I would not make it coming out here. But Little did they know, I overcame all adversity!! Cougar mountian trail..I am coming for you this weekend!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

From another light

I was talking with a old gal friend about stuff and she kinda helped me to see things from a different perspective. She said that I am that guy that the girls are looking for after they have dated all those typical guys. And it made me think, everyone I ever dated, not that its been to many or anything, have all said later on that they never forgot how well i treated them, that put a smile on my face!

Playing it Safe

Ok so i was little disappionted that the run tommorrow was cancelled, but after searching craigslist for running partners/hiking/camping buddies i came accross an article where someone else was going through what i was going through..people here in seattle tend to stay inside way to much in the winter and dont want to do anything, thats very hard for someone like me who likes to see and do everything, i have to much life and energy in me to stay inside and do nothing. so i am going to a pick up soccer game on beacon hill tommorrow. yipeee so it looks like i might have just found a few people to go camping hiking with this summer, i am glad i read craiglist, cause when it comes down to it i need to go buy the right equipment for doing such crazy things, i guess i always chose to do things the dangerous way when it comes to outdoors stuff, pushing the limits till i can go anymore, but it times to get a little wiser and be a little safer. Damn REI your going to love my


Yesterday was pretty fun..i think..heck i don't even remember..i know i worked and i came home..oh yeah..i ran lake Washington again, they are starting to think i am getting crazier everyday running in my little shorts. i went to check out running pants, but my gosh they are like $100 bucks.....thats a new pair of running I am kinda stocking up on carbs today, hopfully the running club is running tommorrow, if not i will find some random mountian trail to climb/ As for today I am dressed and ready to go..but where i have no clue, so just threw in the movie serendipity and starting cooking some :D Maybe coffee and a book store will do me some good this evening!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Gentle hands

The snow gently hitting my face as run around lake washington. I am in awe as I look accross the water and see a city perfectly covered in white. I stop to take a breath and I start to think about life and its meaning. I am realizing some of us are made to share our lives with others and some of us are here to show them how to. This christmas i spent alone again i wasnt sure wether to be sad or not, i think I was just numb. I guess watching all the couples snuggled up together kinda hit me a little hard. I think right now i am just a little hurt inside that i meet such awesome people, and the second i mention anything about being interested in them they run, i just dont get it. So I came back home after going to the movies and packed a bag and decided to stay at the renaissance hotel just to get that feeling that i was on vacation. I think this weekend i am going to look up some mountian trail and just do it, i dont know how far in i will be able to go but i know that what i will probably see with be nothing less than beautiful scenery. I saw a qoute today that made me really think......"We only learn by looking back, but can only live by going forward"

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I am cold

WOW today was awesome, i tried to get people to come hang out with me today but everyone is snowed in or just i went walked to REI from madrona and bought my first ever snow board, A K2 podium 159cm ....i am happy i finally have my own!!! On my way home i ran into a couple named nate and diane and they asked me to join them sledding down union st, so with no hesititation i joined them and got soaked and frozen but had a blast. then i preceded back to my house and ran into 3 gals and one guy sledding one block from my house (i stopped by madrona ale house before heading home) and they asked me to join them i ran to the house dropped my new board off and joined them, it was a PBR and sledding night ....i had so much fun. once again i got lost going back home, but luckily some high schoolers walked me back to my place....i swear my direction around here sucks, i think it is cause i get so excited about all the new things here that i am not paying attention, but he i am happy. On other thought i am starting to realize that i meet alot of gals but they all want to be my friends cause i am a fun to be around, i just dont get it, if i am fun to be around why wont they date me, i guess i might be over reacting right now cause i want to be with someone right now, its kinda sad i have lowered myself to think about it and i feel so stupied for even joining that site, but hey i am only human and want to feel like someone wants me to, that might sound soft, sentimental, but i dont care, its who i am and i will not change. It is true when they say nice guys finish last, from my insight of things its very true. You see a woman grows up dating all the idiots and guys that look good, but as a woman gets older and beauty starts to slip they start looking for that nice guy, the guy who treats them right and respects them, hench nice guys always finish last. So with that said, i am who i am, and i will not change my nice guy ways. p.s. i had a friend text me last night about her man abusing her, i think my heart just broke when i heard the news, this is the second gal that i know personally that has been abused by a man, it makes me so so angry that a man would use force to over power a woman, let me catch some man hit some woman in front of me...EEERRRRRRRRRR My advice gals is to stop dating duece bags and date the nice guy,,,wink wink

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Not going to be the other guy

For the first time I actually slept through the night, although I did not want to get up when it was time, I think its was do to pure exhaustion. Work was good, the staff and patients are already playing tricks on me so thats a good thing. I am happy to find out that my best friend missa wants to come out here to see me next month. It's weird how it seems as though everyone kinda fell apart when i left florida, I was always that guy everyone came to talk to or escape from their significant others. I never said anything but now I can, I was so sick of of hearing everyones complaints about thier boyfriends or girlfriends, why cant anyone just be happy they have someone that cares about them, not everyone has that luxury. It was at times like I was the guy who took care of the emotional side of thier relationships and theother person took care of their physical side of it..something just doesnt add I keep hearing from all the woman that i have met here in seattle that its hard to find a good guy and that they are always competing with the gay guys for the good (thats funny to me) Now I have met some friendly people but I am starting to wonder if there are any real good girls worth my time in seattle. p.s. my secretary at work keeps hitting on ok, i got something off my chest again.

As for tonight, i am debating on going out and just adventuring or if i should just kick back and relax. I want to go to the gym, but I need to relax, maybe i can jump the fence of some nice hotel and jump in thier jacuzzi late tonight..that would be awesome.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Making a path

Today was a trying day, sometimes I look at a past relationship and see it as the biggest failure in my life. And I am determined not to fail ever again. I was talking with a friend today and was like, I know i am not your usual guy, but am I really that different. The response i got was meaningful, I might be different but I have such high expectations in those I want to date that sometime they cant meet my expectations. I guess built a wall up so I couldn't get hurt again, thats so out of character for me, I am that guy that believes you have to take risk to fully live, what is life if you dont take the other path? I am not sure I will lower my standards, but I will compromise.

On other news, I went running again with the seattle run club and it was very cold, so cold that about half way in I had to slow I am not one to slow down, but I am learning that being GUY and running in cold weather I need to take extra steps to protect certian areas, I think it was the wierdest feeling I ever experienced while running, lmao...I am sitting here laughing at myself for even writting Thank goodness for the club, i asked around and got some advice on how to protect the family jewels so that dont hibernate..lmao..ok I think i am red now...GOODNIGHT! LESSON LEARNED!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Lesson Learned

I have finally broken down and decided to go out this week and buy spandex running pants, i use to crack jokes at folks for wearing such silly little things, and now look at me I will be that silly little man running in Adjusting to running in the cold is something new for me, it has always been my weakness. But I guess if i want to get better I need to get out of my comfort zone of running in the warm weather and learn to focus on my weakness. I ended up going to the gym today for a 1 hour cycle class and decided to get there a little early and work on chest and abs. After using the machine I decided I would head to the room up stairs and start streching 30 mins before class, as I walked in the gal with microphone was look OH are gonna join our abe class? I looked around and realized I was the only So after turning a little red for a sec I was like, sure why not...well you wont hear me say this very often, but those girls kicked my butt, I looked like a crippled man in But I must say I have respect for anyone that does, I think I might actually start that class on weekly basis. Currently I am fighting the fear of getting injuried again, I have been pushing myself a little harder lately cuase of the new enviroment, i would lose my mind if i lost he very thing that lets me escape from everything.

How to step one foot at a time

The house was silent when all of a sudden I woke up in a semi panic and reached for my phone and checked the time only to realize once again it was only 258am in the morning. The other day a friend and I went for a run and talked relationships and anxiety. I did not realize that I could also be waking up from anxiety, i guess when you work in health care you tend to always try and diagnosis others and often forget to take time to look at yourself. I guess I have been telling myself that I am ok and everything is going great instead of facing it. (even as i type this i find myself trying to catch my breath and slow down)

Its been just over a month since I arrived here in seattle. Many ask me why I moved up here and and why in the dead of the winter. There are many reason why I moved up here. I wanted to break away from everything that happened in the past 22 months and just start over. I have had a strong feeling for a long time that seattle was where I was suppose to move and settle down. Since I have been here I have overcome so much. I came here with just a suitcase, guitar and faith!