What happen to our innocense

Its funny how love when we are young is so perfect, so innocent, ad so pure. We have no scares that prohibit our feelings, no walls have been built. Your palms get sweaty, your heart beats a little faster and you are left in awe. Here is a scene that I find displays what I wish we all could return to, our youth, our innocense, our pure selves before we were scar'd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdblPsYM64M

So I sit and watch

Here I am sitting here in a coffee shop among all the college students, its so funny how I look as young as they do yet I am a little more reserved than they are, i guess the years have mellowed me out in certain aspects. I sit here pondering cause there is this gal that I have found myself very attracted to, but the problem is she is one of my patients. I have never crossed that due to the fact its a very thin line and very touchy. I was sitting here thinking have I become so lonily that I am attracted to a patient of mine?? But then I did some thinking, I know that I am lonily and that every gal I meet here in seattle is so shallow and cant see that I am that good guy they are looking for. I find it funny how the ladies here complain all the time about how they are dating someone who does not make them happy or they cant find a good guy. But through my thinking I realized that I have not become so lonily that I am attracted to my patient, but that had she not been my patient then she is the exact woman I would date. I guess it sucks cause I know the right thing is to avoid the situation at all cost, but then again who decides what is right from wrong? A great friend of mine just that i just met wrote this statment about me....

"I guess i dont really know you all that well, but i feel like the glimpses i see of you are worth a LOT! You have alot to give someone. I believe that a girl is lucky to be pursued by you"

WOW This really made me uplifted and made me feel like there is someone who wants me out there that will appreciate my personality and love for life. All to often people at first think i am this soft guy, but in reality I am a Deep guy, I get rough and tough with the best of them, I am moref active and aggressive than most guys my age and younger. My ex use to laugh at me cause I was the only guy that would be watching football and on a commercial flip to figure skating...lol But you see I dont see figure skating as girly, I look at it as art and PERFECTION, anyone can play football or basketball, but how many guys do you know that have the balls to figure skate? Next Month I will start taking lessions to learn the Cello and I am proud of that!!

I know sometimes my post may seem like I am trying to prove who I am, but thats not the case, I am just trying to give everyone a different look at how life is from my eyes!!

What a woman needs

You see most guys get into a relationship with a woman and once they get her they become comfortable and they let things go. You see from my experience you have to keep the passion going and still be spontanous. You cant keep your woman locked in a house or make her feel guilty everytime she goes out with friends. If you prevent her from having friends and being able to live the life she always wants then you will deprive her of life and she will become depressed, sad, and a little loony. As for the gals taking care of the guys, the rule is much more simple, dont change him and dont let him change you. Last but least, guess are simple, you treat them like a kid and he will respond to you with affection. It sad that some people never get or will understand what i just wrote!

If this is true then...

They say that if you dont use it, you will lose it. Now seeing as I have been single a long long time, gosh we are approaching 2 years now, I am a afraid that if I dont use it, I will lose it....:D lol So ya i met this gal at the ski pass the other day and we hit it off really well, only to find out later that everything she told me was about her sister and when we exchanged numbers it was her sisters number, I was a little pissed when i was told to take a hint and never call again...i only called once, there was no hint, last i checked everything was pretty good, well shame on me for thinking I finally landed a seattle gal...lol I wonder if her mom is single...lol

So I think this video is a solution to my finding a gal problem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PKndk7vu-E

Sigh

Ok so i pulled my groin muscle almost 3 weeks ago, and it has put me out of running, and for those of you who are avid runners or avid anything active, that sucks. I have been going to the gym every other day to maintain stamina and muscle mass, but it is nothing to running outside. I was a little frustrated driving around lake washington this morning and seeing all the runners and bikers, i was like damn thats not fair, i should be running right now and enjoying the scenery....lol I am going to try for this marathon on march 22nd i think its in vancouver or oregon, so we'll see....:D

A slight refraction of light still glimmers

I wake in darkness to the cold splashing on my face. My heart is slowly racing. I slip out of bed and into some scrubs. I walk out the front door to complete utter silence. Nothing is moving, all i hear is my breath. I walk to the curb and I look down the street and I am amazed at how i have been blessed and how close i came to falling into the pit of darkness where many never come back from. I see how the patients faces light up as i walk onto the floor and how an old woman with a ragged old body starts to show life as i walk towards her. Her hands are worn from the years and gravity has been good to her. At the age of 97 she still has a sparkle in her eye. Her life is a mystery to me, but i can tell she lived life to her fullest and never do i see an ounce of sadness on her face. I dont know if I will even make it close to her age, but i know i want to live my life with no regrets, I want to have someone to share that joy that i have found in life. I want to climb every mountain here in washington and i want to see the beauty this place holds so secret. It might be cold, but my spirit will keep me warm. I remember the other night when i went snowboarding and i wonder off the trail on accident, the visiability was not more than ten feet, I was scared at first, i tumbled here and there. my ribs were bruised, my knees battered, and my forhead cut, but i never lost focus on the WHOLE PICTURE!

Fighting the pain

Well I went to bellingham, but got there only because i was suppose to go to anacortis and i missed the turn..lol I went with a friend that was a potential date, but I think she makes a better friend for me. I am thinking that maybe I am to picky, but I know that one day I find that special someone. My ex is very jealous that I am living the life she wants...lol That makes me feel better, she calls me complaining that her life sucks and that its not fair. I wont lie I do miss her, but there is no way she would ever want to be with me, personally i dont give a damn anymore. We did it to ourselves, we ruined it, we are the reason things ended!!! As for my running, it sucks i have been down three weeks almost now, but i have been going to the gym to workout and do the bike every other day. I noticed that i am not taking in enough calories and carbs. Its funny cause i remember my friend mo trying to load up on her calorie intake, i was like damn she eats more than me, but now i realize that she was smart about that and hence i have up'd my diet also. P.s. my roomie keeps giving me curves bars...i hope there is no estrogen in them...lol I ended up playing soccer last night and I was scared that i would not be able to run and kick like i wanted to, but i did pretty good last night, i was able to control the ball and fake out everyone, but this one girl got me good once, i guess she had been watching me very carefully and i as i went to fake her i backed up and slide the ball between her feet and turned back around and my ball was gone, she had stole it, as she passed me she smiled at me and said "nice moves" i kindly smiled at her and laughed, it was funny and she was so nice about it..lol Well i hoping to be able to run this weekend, but we will see!!